I'm turning into a cry-baby... or more likely, somewhere, somewhen I lost most of the shielding around my emotions and I find many more things getting to me than before.

Case in point: I bought the soundtrack for "Black Hawk Down". While I still have many reservations about watching the movie, most of them a refusal to watch a propaganda film about how much we should thank the U.S. for butting their nose where it doesn't belong. Another one is that Nicci is again on the field, a couple of months before her new training was supposed to begin, and she was sent away again.

I'm afraid that this movie is going to punch me hard.

I bought the CD anyway because I love Hans Zimmer's work, and he hasn't disappointed me yet; this CD is fantastic, and I might just go see the movie to see what Ridley Scott did to be underlined by this music.

But while listening to the track with Lisa Gerard in vocals I was reading the CD's jacket, and my mind suddenly wandered to the subject of the movie, to the soldiers who had to fight through enemy lines to return home. I hate international U.S. politics and their meddling hollier-than-thou position, but I can't stop thinking about how the politicians are using their young in their wars, how each soldier, as unjust as his war might be, is a person with a family waiting for him. My throat closed up with the music, with the memories of Nicci going MIA last year, and thinking how many people have been in my position, but their aftermath was much different than mine: their loved ones did not return.

So, I'm bringing a lot of tissues when I go to see "Black Hawk Down", because I'm sure I'm going to cry for the people that see their lives destroyed by the bloodthirst of petty leaders from both sides of all conflicts.

I once told Nicci that she had saved me from an emotional apathy I was falling into. And boy, is this correct! I'm crying for U.S. soldiers, dammit! Oh, the irony......